More Tarnation

WHAT IN TARNATION!?

Heavens to Betsy, life ain't easy for the purdiest gal in town. Scuttlebutts aside, it ain't just them flannel mouths calling me "hotter than a whorehouse on nickle night".

One amongst these four heinous criminals committed the murder, I do declare we won't have peace here in the town of Roadkill until we rid ourselves of this dispicable and, furthermore, gruesome depravity. So roostered they was riding shank's mare!

Here we have the severed head of the last four-flushin' mudsill who done skipped craft night and so dearly lacked a valid excuse.

Them veils can't hide the yearning for power in this one here. Too many nights alone in that bone orchard. Anyone who takes her monthly bath in Holy Water must be awful fond of that communion wine, yes indeed.

My goodness gracious Sheriff, you cut a ravishingly fine figure, finer than cream gravy if I do say so myself! I always say the bushier the mustache the longer the ride, so to speak. Now go on Sheriff a smile for that there fancy picturebox.

To determine what the hell all the slang means, click here

Pumpkin Carving & Bleach

Here are the pumpkins we carved for our Halloween extravaganza: The 2 bigs one in back were carved later. And the white thing in the middle is a ghost made from cheesecloth and glue. They're really fun to make.

Here is Erin showing off part of her heart-throb cowboy belt buckle in process:

And here is Luke with bleach. Why? Who knows. If you do please leave a comment.
The "hey-there sailor" picture of Emily and the Kelly carving picture did not turn out. I'm still working out how to use that damn camera. Sometimes the pictures are great - sometimes not. I can't blame the camera for that. Operator error all the way.

Paper Mache

I love this stuff! Why haven't I worked with paper mache sooner in my life? There is so much you can do with it -the possibilities boggle the mind. If you think I exaggerate just check this out: Stolloween. I'm too much of a dabbler to ever be the master craftsman Stoll is but I can work at being half as good. Here is round one on my pumpkin:

I used old bank statements and other paper destined for the burn barrel. It's a great way to recycle.

For the second layer I used brown paper bags. On Stoll's site he gives all sorts of basic how-to information. It's a pretty flexible craft, in terms of glue to flour ratios and types of paper you can use, but we'll see how the actual painting part goes. Painting requires artistic ability and could very well be a disaster for me. Anyway, it's so much fun. I love papercrafts and rarely do anything sculptural that isn't modular (ie: folding the same model over and over again). Tonight, I paint. Wish me luck!

U-Pick Pumpkins- Kerbyville Farm

I don't know why it's so much fun to pick out your own pumpkins, but it is. Especially when the weather is so grand and you have a field full of pumpkins to take your pick from.

We also picked our own tomatoes, though there aren't many left.

The farm sells a lot of squash. The farmer picks these for you.

Dragon Dedication

Here is the completed yard-art sculpture that Kelly's been working on. Check out his earlier dragon post to refresh your memory. It's been awhile.Kelly was commissioned to finish the sculpture in memory of Chuck Jacobs (AKA Billy). The dragon was the latest project Chuck was working on when he passed away in August of 2007. Metal sculpture was new to Chuck- he had been a furniture maker for many years and wanted to learn something different. He wanted so much out of life, he couldn't be idle for a moment. He was always building, traveling, raising a ruckus, adventuring in some fashion. His wife, family and all their dear friends from the area gathered on Saturday, October 3rd for a dedication/memorial ceremony. Chuck had finished the globe, the dragon's head and a partial tail before moving on to his newest adventure (wherever you are I'm sure you're giving someone hell). Kelly finished off the body, making the scales one by one, and then did his own interpretation of the wings. Chuck had left a vague picture in his workshop but no other information on what his vision/plans were for the final details.

The ceremony was at the Selma Center. The weather was blustery (like Chuck) but the rain held and there was even some rays of sunshine to highlight the coppery tones of the dragon.

It was great to have Betsey back in town, even though she wasn't here nearly long enough. Here she is gazing through the world. Come back to us soon, Betsey!

Crochet is so damn MANLY, it hurts

So, what do you do with 5 old towels that have served their country well, but have grown less plush and kinda smelly with age? Thanks to CeCe, I learned that when it comes to crochet hooks, size DOES matter. First, spiral cut the towels into one long continuous strip. Then, after some push-ups and protein drinks, rev your engines and start making knots.







Whatever you do, do NOT let an amped-up crotchet stud like this enter your calm & tidy abode, after all, this is Cave Junction. One minute you are contemplating the beauty of serpentine-influenced flora and the next minute you've got braided aqua-marine terrycloth racing stripes glued to your rusty new 1983 Camaro and a crocheted hanging fruit basket. But there ain't nothing fruity about that gun show to the right, folks.





Look at the size of those balls, of yarn. Almost done, this will be such a great floor mat for my broke-down cinder-blocked monster truck. Scientists first discovered the testosterone molecule using crochet hooks. It's a fact, Google it!









The pattern represents the life of the hallowed & illustrious & chaw-rific tobacco plant. Green vibrant earthly, freshly the joy germinates; then brown & seasoned, perfect for a packed oozing lip-full; alas my friends and we are full circle, green again the color of my nauseated, jaundiced face after the holy tobacco plant has made me one with Gaia.

0.8x4oz.=3.2oz.