Heavens to Betsy, life ain't easy for the purdiest gal in town. Scuttlebutts aside, it ain't just them flannel mouths calling me "hotter than a whorehouse on nickle night".
One amongst these four heinous criminals committed the murder, I do declare we won't have peace here in the town of Roadkill until we rid ourselves of this dispicable and, furthermore, gruesome depravity. So roostered they was riding shank's mare!
Here we have the severed head of the last four-flushin' mudsill who done skipped craft night and so dearly lacked a valid excuse.
Them veils can't hide the yearning for power in this one here. Too many nights alone in that bone orchard. Anyone who takes her monthly bath in Holy Water must be awful fond of that communion wine, yes indeed.
My goodness gracious Sheriff, you cut a ravishingly fine figure, finer than cream gravy if I do say so myself! I always say the bushier the mustache the longer the ride, so to speak. Now go on Sheriff a smile for that there fancy picturebox.
To determine what the hell all the slang means, click here