Saturday, October 3, 2009

Crochet is so damn MANLY, it hurts

So, what do you do with 5 old towels that have served their country well, but have grown less plush and kinda smelly with age? Thanks to CeCe, I learned that when it comes to crochet hooks, size DOES matter. First, spiral cut the towels into one long continuous strip. Then, after some push-ups and protein drinks, rev your engines and start making knots.

Whatever you do, do NOT let an amped-up crotchet stud like this enter your calm & tidy abode, after all, this is Cave Junction. One minute you are contemplating the beauty of serpentine-influenced flora and the next minute you've got braided aqua-marine terrycloth racing stripes glued to your rusty new 1983 Camaro and a crocheted hanging fruit basket. But there ain't nothing fruity about that gun show to the right, folks.

Look at the size of those balls, of yarn. Almost done, this will be such a great floor mat for my broke-down cinder-blocked monster truck. Scientists first discovered the testosterone molecule using crochet hooks.
It's a fact, Google it!

The pattern represents the life of the hallowed & illustrious & chaw-rific tobacco plant. Green vibrant earthly, freshly the joy germinates; then brown & seasoned, perfect for a packed oozing lip-full; alas my friends and we are full circle, green again the color of my nauseated, jaundiced face after the holy tobacco plant has made me one with Gaia.

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