REAL MEN QUILT!

First off, for the skeptical, I just want you to know that quilting takes mad skills and can thus be done with supreme masculinity intact, and even amplified a yard or two. The pattern I used was one from the internet called "Carnivorous Hippie". It epitomizes the beautiful balance between Gaia and a bacon double cheese burger. As our dichotomies define us, so do the otherwise clash-laden, conflicting fabric patterns find harmonious unity when stitched together. The tiles below show two of the twenty squares used for a queen sized bed. No ironing and no pins folks, this is guerrilla-style quilting, State of Jefferson at its best.


A closer examination of these exquisite tiles shows mammalian morsels and finned delectabilities in their native habitats. My quilt speaks the story of the infinitely tantalizing tastiness of nature.

A ponderous off-shoot of this paradigm-shifting quilt-induced wintery endeavor was the discovery that dogs love to quilt. Some may claim that my attempts to teach a puppy how to use a sewing machine borders on the asinine, but I counter that we shall not discriminate against our canine companions...Quilting for dogs, quilting for all species, quilting forever!






Note: I lay waste with a second-hand 1975 Singer, from back when they built sewing machines with metal gears and an ornery disposition. If your sewing machine happens to have a computer inside it, you better hope we don't meet on the streets.