Snarks vs. Bears, Pigs, Nutcrackers, etc.

Cece's brain fell out a couple of weekends ago when several of the Snarky bunch forced their way into a high-security compound in the heart of scenic Grants Pass, Oregon. This was not a secret military base, nor a defense contractor's 'Skunk Works'; even juicier, it was the dreamland called the 'Bear Hotel'. The BH is the artist's version of the aforementioned 'skunk works'; a place where artists huddle in a ghetto of cubicles
and are alternately whipped with rusty chains and promsised sushi bites to force them to produce large scale art pieces around a theme dictated by the evil overlord, Bradystopholes. Naah, just kiddin' Brady Adams is a local banker/art patron/recovering politician who has this crazy warehouse full of past pieces;

Like all these crazy bears. The Snarks are gazing in awe at Treegeek's bear pair. For a few shots of this project in process, look at our posts from Feb. 09.

Above right is 'Babyfoot bears' by our friend Lane Cosner; an artist who lives near Cave Junction. Lane is working in his home studio on a door for this years show.


...This year the artists are basing their works on a big ol' solid wood door. The artist for this piece was not around for me to get relevant info, so I'll just claim it.

"Hey, I paid my damn dollar, where's the nekkidity?" I seem to be saying in this here photo of Treegeek's piece. It may be hard to belive but there are over thirty people smershed in back there, admiring and snarking.

Big Timber and the American Eagle; let's git us some freedom fries, Bubba.

Yep, you guessed it, leather fish. The second one with a saddle is about six feet long. LEATHER, hello.That's so hot.

These people were rounded up and fed to famished ferrets soon after this snap was taken.

A photo is worth a thousand words, so whisper "What the hell?" to yourself about 334 times.

kelly wasted this four minutes of your life, sorry.

Bad Horse, Bad Fuses, Amazing Shawls

Hey there Crafty Snarks. We had a great night last night. Andrew (AKA Anthony) dyed some of Max's fur with usnea. Max was an unwilling participant but coerced into willingness with the use of food and attention.

We watched a short film, Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Thanks to Paul for bringing it, we need more Bad Horse in the world.

We were discussing shawls last night and how we aren't really shawl wearers, even though there are such great knitted shawls out there in the world. Well, here is a shawl that could turn me into a dedicated shawl wearer:
The pattern is here: http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEspring09/PATTshipwreck.php. Just a hint for the knitters in our group; somebody's birthday is coming up in June. That might be just enough time to get this done. That somebody whose birthday it is would even be willing to spring for the yarn and just use you for your talent. I'm just saying, that's all.

We had a splendiferous (and educational) trip to the Bear Hotel last Saturday. Stay tuned for pictures and a guided tour of our trip. Keep on crafting! Nancy

REAL MEN QUILT!

First off, for the skeptical, I just want you to know that quilting takes mad skills and can thus be done with supreme masculinity intact, and even amplified a yard or two. The pattern I used was one from the internet called "Carnivorous Hippie". It epitomizes the beautiful balance between Gaia and a bacon double cheese burger. As our dichotomies define us, so do the otherwise clash-laden, conflicting fabric patterns find harmonious unity when stitched together. The tiles below show two of the twenty squares used for a queen sized bed. No ironing and no pins folks, this is guerrilla-style quilting, State of Jefferson at its best.


A closer examination of these exquisite tiles shows mammalian morsels and finned delectabilities in their native habitats. My quilt speaks the story of the infinitely tantalizing tastiness of nature.

A ponderous off-shoot of this paradigm-shifting quilt-induced wintery endeavor was the discovery that dogs love to quilt. Some may claim that my attempts to teach a puppy how to use a sewing machine borders on the asinine, but I counter that we shall not discriminate against our canine companions...Quilting for dogs, quilting for all species, quilting forever!






Note: I lay waste with a second-hand 1975 Singer, from back when they built sewing machines with metal gears and an ornery disposition. If your sewing machine happens to have a computer inside it, you better hope we don't meet on the streets.

Tempura and Bad Craziness

Well my little chickadees, the 03-05-09 meeting of the Snark Possee went swimmingly. Mostly delicious snacks swimming in tempura batter then taking a quick dip in the smoking wok of transformation; mmm… who can resist the glorious combo of batter, hot oil, and scalding foody bits you can eat direct from your paw? If you’re really good all your mortal days; when you snuff it, you’ll be rewarded with salmon tempura in the afterlife (vegans get shitake mushrooms). Thanks to the kitchen staff, Luke and Erin, who sacrificed their craft time to spend hours as galley slaves.

Gratuitous greasy food porn above; and below, the tragic results of the equation; T-W=SM+SPOTS (where T is tempura, W is willpower, SM is stretch marks, and SPOTS is silly photo op in tight shirt.)
Oh yeah, remember the neverending sock that Erin was Knitting in a previous entry? Well she hit the wall with that beeotch, and said "$*&# top-down socks!”. Here we see the dismembered remains being resurrected into a proper toe-up sock. Can I get an AMEN! The roving blog eye also seems to have caught a dangerous snarky look from the Lukester in the background. A request has been made for ‘Hunks in flannel boxers’; that is the look of a game sailor ready for a voyage into dangerous waters.


Nancy diligently crafted the night through, Paul helped cook and chatted, Emily brought in a heavy graphic novel ‘In the shadow of no towers’ and tossed out smoothly snide rejoinders, Luke cooked and chatted and pondered flannel drawers, CeCe claimed to have a cold and stayed home-but I think she caught a nasty virus at her wild naked housewarming orgy last weekend, and Casey…

Well Casey had been sniffing glue all day so when he tried to knit it looked like this: Yeah, it scared the hell out of us, too. When he comes down he will be competing in the U.S National Snowshoe Races at Mt. Hood this coming weekend. Y’all hum into your crystals and visualize him making the U.S. Snowshoe Team; we all are, for shure. He better hope they don’t drug test for performance enhancing Tempura.

Here is a blurry photo of the paper doormat Andrew lovingly crafted last week. Why is it so blurry? Was the photographer drunk? Are all you viewers drunk? Is it really a doormat?

No, no, none of the above. Andrew is dead to us. DEAD, DEAD, DEAD! He toys with us, he promises the chance to bask in his glow, then he snatches hope away and hangs out with cooler kids than us. Well buddy, in the immortal words of that one song; ‘I’m gonna harden my heart.’ Damn skippy! So from now on when he does casually drop in and play up the dilettante crafter shtick, the photos of his work will be tainted with blur, or be too dark, or…OAHAAHAA!!


DISCLAIMER: Much of the foregoing is purely fictional, and any resemblance to actual people made of meat and their activities is purely ‘1,000,000 monkeys floating in space randomly typing the collected works of Shakespeare’ kind of coincidental. Really.

If this is bad, it’s kelly’s bad.

I just discovered this new site: http://www.oneprettything.com/ This is a very dangerous site. A site that those of us who are craft obsessed should stay very far away from. I can't work peacefully knowing this site is out there, beckoning.

Origami Virus

One of the Crafty Snarks asked if I could make a gigantic modular piece. I don't know if I would call it gigantic (its around a foot and a half tall) but I did need somebody to hold it while I assembled it. This model is crafted from one of Tomoko Fuse's brilliant designs in "Unit Origami". The model is made from 30 sheets of paper (no glueing! no cutting!). Each piece of paper was folded using the model called Little Turtle. It could be bigger if I was willing to cut my own paper, but instead I chose the easier option of already-cut scrapbook paper.

Sorry for the terrible photo quality but I wanted to show another example of Fuse's great designs. The little guy on the left is from her book "Floral Globe Origami". I plan on making some more designs from this book; I'll try to get better pictures. Nancy

Bears!

Here are some amazing bear sculptures done by Paul Brown. The Crafty Snarks will in fact be taking a field trip to Grants Pass next Saturday, March 7th to see work being done by Paul. Email craftthesnark@gmail.com for more info.